The Good Fight.

It’s never easy. As the years grow longer, as months dissolve into years, as the monotony of life places boundaries and lines where none existed,  it becomes harder and harder to remember what it was I loved about you in the first place. Moments become blurred, when in the past, in the early days of our relationship, everything happened with blinding clarity. Every moment, a picture, every gesture, rife with meaning. Now, I grasp for these moments as they become more a peculiarity, a boon in our day to day lives. I try to hold them like butterflies, fragile, inside the cage of my hands.

True, with the passage of time, some lovers are blessed with more reasons to love each other. Some, who are not so lucky, are left staring at faces they no longer know, sharing beds with people who have become strangers. I feel this overwhelming love for you, this person who has stood by me for so many years. Yet I  also feel the weight of those years on my shoulders, the weight of familiarity, of responsibility.

And it is in these moments that our love is put to the test. The death of love rarely is brought about by jealousy, or anger, or fear. It is the when love stops blooming, when it no longer finds nourishment, that it dies. And nothing is more corrosive than apathy, that certain moment when you begin to no longer care, when you let days wash over you without holding his hand, or letting him know you love him. It is when you let fights fester, when you let unspoken hurts remain hidden.

And so I make this vow, to never let this happen to us. That each day, I will fight to remember you as you were and know you as you are now, and love you even more for it. That no matter the length of time, I will always find magic in what we have. That each moment I have with you, I consider a blessing, something to be thankful for and never wasted. That no day will pass that you do not know how much I love you, completely and without any doubt.

It’s a struggle, a fight. But with you on my side, I know we’ll always win.

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